Why not try a Soberish lifestyle this October?

My name is Kayla Lyons, and I started my journey toward what I now call a soberish lifestyle back in 2015, when I decided that alcohol was no longer serving me in a positive way. Over the years, I’d tried many different programmes, read boat-loads of literature, threw myself into therapy (and God knows what else) trying to find the “right pathway” to heal myself. What I eventually came to learn is that there is no single “right way”, there is only your way. 

Being soberish isn’t about being abstinent from alcohol. It’s about writing your own narrative, finding a positive pathway to healing and taking your power back from alcohol. The world is already full of people trying to tell us what to do, who to be and how to do things; I’m not interested in being one of those people. I’m simply want to share my experience of finding inner peace by throwing out what everyone else told me to do and choosing to do things my way. 

My own relationship with alcohol used to be a toxic cycle I had no idea how to break until I finally made some life-altering decisions that all led to me writing Soberish: The Science Based Guide to Taking Your Power Back from Alcohol (Watkins Publishing, 2023). My goal with Soberish was to give you, the reader, a safe space in which to look internally and foster the confidence to make changes, equipped with some powerful scientific and lifestyle tools that can help you do this.

You may well have heard of Sober October, or as I like to call it, Soberish October. It’s one of the months where people all over the world put a pause of their drinking and redefine, however briefly, their relationship to alcohol. If you’re looking for a reason to cut back, or want to reevaluate your drinking habits, joining in with Sober October can be a great motivator. In fact, any dry month is a great opportunity to really give the soberish lifestyle a go and take that first step in cultivating a relationship with alcohol that works for you. 

As with any challenge, a dry month needs a plan of action. In a nutshell, this is a detailed written plan that you can create to provide a solid foundation for the month ahead. I detail a full plan of action in Soberish, taking you through five key steps to help you achieve your soberish goal, whatever that might be. To give you an example, step one is identifying your triggers, which is any stimulus that leads you to drink. With that definition in mind, I’d encourage you to write down all the triggers that you are currently aware of — all the people, places and things that lead you to drink. Triggers are unique to everyone and can look very different, but whatever they are, being aware of your triggers is the first step in taking away their power. Once you know yours, you will be able to recognise your typical response and steer yourself back toward your goal using healthy habits. 

As you move through your dry month, I’d encourage you to nourish any healthy habits that bring you happiness and stability, whether that is going for a walk in nature or journaling, but also try out some new ones. In Soberish, I provide a soberish toolkit full of wellbeing techniques and practices, but for now I’ll focus on two that have been helpful in my journey. Remember, tools can come in all shapes and sizes and everyone’s toolkit will look different, so feel confident in finding the techniques that work for you.

The first tool I look at in Soberish is nutrition and eating to support your mind and body. Nutrient deficiencies and insufficient production of amino acids can lead to imbalances that leave you vulnerable to alcohol misuse. Soberish contains a whole chapter on diet, with a guide to key foods and expert testimony that breaks down the science behind nutrition. 

Another great tool is sound healing. There’s a lot of science behind the efficacy of sound healing, but to give a brief overview it allows the mind to decompress by stimulating lower resonant frequency in our body and brain, bringing us closer to our natural state of rest. If you don’t have access to a sound bath, there are many alternatives. Practicing sound healing can be as simple as going outside and listening to the sounds of nature that surround you, or looking up alpha brain wave songs or meditations on YouTube and Spotify (one of my personal favourites is The Sound Bath channel on Spotify). 

In order to have a successful Soberish October, all you really need is a willingness to question your relationship with alcohol. This doesn’t involve shame or blame; it’s about taking back your narrative and looking after your key physical and mental needs. Remember, soberish is about intention and freedom, not restriction; it’s about the pleasures of regaining control of our lives and enjoying so much more than what alcohol can offer us.

Soberish: The Science Based Guide to Taking Your Power Back from Alcohol is published on 9th September, and available from all good bookshops and www.watkinspublishing.com.